Revelation

Whoooey- it's been a long time since I've blogged! I've really missed it!

Well, I saw an interesting photo on Facebook the other day that really got me thinking.

I love how this photo says "be brave enough," because bravery isn't always associated with relationships. Thinking about this really made me realize how amazing some of my friends are, and the contrary for others.

I am so thankful for my amazing friends. The past few years my circle of friends has changed and grown, but there are a few that will always be a part of that circle. Emily Dickinson once wrote, "My friends are my estate." Friends are a foundation of life... they are irreplaceable, and I have some of the best!

I know I have written a post talking about my friends, but I just have to go back and remind them how incredible they are and how thankful I am to have them, because they are honestly the most incredible friends anyone could ever dream of.

Crystal Lohr and I have been friends since my 7th grade year. She has been such a healthy influence in my life and I honestly don't know what I would do without her. She is seriously such an amazing woman and I look up to her in a lot of ways.

Allie Dean, Marlee Tegenkamp, and Ryan Courier were my first best friends in high school, and they remain my best friends today. All 3 of them helped shape who I have become and were amazing influences on me in high school. I always used to joke that Ryan and Marlee "took me under their wings" when I was a freshman and made those first two years of high school such a blast! Allie Dean and I have such a weird, but awesome relationship. We both rely on each other for so many things- we are each other's "reality check" in the hard times, a shoulder to cry on, and the first person each other texts when something exciting happens. Through high school she led me spiritually in a lot of ways that helped mold the faithfulness I have now. She was a great role model for me in high school, and I'm so thankful for everything she has done for me. To this day I can meet up with all 4 of these girls and it feels like no time has passed at all! I have a feeling it will be that way forever. 

My first year of college was seriously SO much fun. I absolutely loved living with Emily, Kramer, and Steph. We all got along so well and I love all 3 of them. Last night I got to hang out with them, and I ended up staying at Kramer's until like 2am talking with her and Steph. We talked about everything imaginable, and it was seriously the best therapy there is. There's nothing like some major girl talk :) I genuinely believe that God brought Kramer in my life as my roommate for so many reasons, and it's amazing because we are both each other's rock. It's really hard to explain, but we both came to college in very similar positions and we grew together and it was perfect to have each other there. Even now we struggle with the same things and get excited about the same things and it's great to have a partner in crime :) I seriously couldn't ask for a better best friend and I know that she will be another one like the ones before that I will be friends with forever. And the same goes for Steph and Emily as well. We've all even talked about how every 5 years we will have to have some sort of reunion and we even have our own Facebook group just for the 4 of us where we talk and stuff! It's a genuinely special relationship I have with those women and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

It's truly inspiring to me that I have such strong relationships with so many amazing women. They are all wonderful influences in my life and I wouldn't know what to do without them! They are all the kind of friends that I can always be myself around and I know they won't judge me, or talk behind my back, or treat me badly... they always support me and love me and are the greatest friends I could ask for. 

And as far as Jordan goes, there's absolutely nothing in the entire world that could ever make me question what an amazing friend he is. He is my go-to guy, the person who tells me it's going to be okay when I feel like everything is falling apart, the one who reminds me every day of how amazing I am and how beautiful I am and how much he loves me, he is the one who celebrates my victories with me- no matter how big or small. He is an amazing man and I wouldn't trade him for the world. 

There are quite a few other friends from the past few years that have been wonderful additions to my life, and y'all know who you are! I just don't have enough time or space to write about so many people!  So thank you to all of you for being so wonderful and being great friends to me. I love you.

It's hard to accept the fact that not all "friends" are going to be like them. There are always going to be people who are going to gossip about me, who will unfairly judge me, who are going to try and hurt me, who will try and make me feel bad about myself, but they can't control me. If I let them weigh me down, I'm losing out on so much in life. Eleanor Roosevelt once said 

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 

That is such a powerful quote, as it really is painfully true. So many times people have this negative affect on us, making us feel inferior, and we let them. But confidence shouldn't come from what others think about you, it should come directly from your confidence within. God loves you no matter what, especially no matter what other people think. God's opinion and your opinion of yourself are what matter- not anyone else's. I am proud of the woman I have become, and I know God loves me just the way I am, and I am never going to let other people make me forget that. Because if I do, I lose myself, and if I lose myself, I have nothing. If people want to spend their time talking about me and my life, let them! That's their own problem- not mine! If they want to judge me and make me feel bad about who I am, that's just going to make me want to be me even more! Because I know that they don't matter. I have amazing friends who love me for who I am and support me in everything I do; I have a miraculous, incredible, perfect God who will always love me, always support me, always believe in me, always forgive me for my mistakes, and always be there for me. I have a wonderful family who will always love me and always support me and never judge me for my mistakes, but pray for me to learn from them and grow from them and be there for me when it's hard. I have the kind of support system that I could only dream of! It's wonderful, and I wouldn't ever want to trade any of them for anything in the whole world. 

It's time for our society to stop living to impress other people, but rather live to please our Lord. I just find it funny that it's so easy for other people to get under our skin when, in the end, only the Holy Spirit inside us can tell us when we've sinned or done something wrong. No one else should have the power to make us feel inferior. I don't want to live to please other people, I want to live for God and please Him in everything I do. And if my friends and family really love me (which I know they do), they will support me in everything I do as long as I'm doing it for God and for myself- not to please anyone else.

Thank you to everyone in my life who has supported me, loved me, and influenced me over the past 20 years. I love you all SO much, and I can never thank you enough for everything you've all done for me. 

Well, it sure does feel good to blog again and get my thoughts off my chest! 

Have a smashing week.

LJ